An Open Letter To The Cats

Dearest Cats,


First, let me just say, that I love you all dearly. You have been wonderful companions to us. Lately though, I must say, you've been a bunch of jerks.


Trouble: Face it dude, Layla is just not that into you.  I know you worship her, but she is a fancy cat, and you are a plain old domestic shorthair.  Move on.  Stop following her around and antagonizing her. No means no.  And stop crying, for Pete's sake!


Layla: I get it, Trouble is a pain.  You don't like him.  That's fine.  But do you really need to hiss at him every time he's even remotely near?  He's not always out to get you.  Calm down.


Spike: Oh, my quiet and solemn little buddy. I love you so.  You are a gentle soul... except when it comes to your brother, and that's what Trouble is.  He's your brother, and you love him, so stop using him as a punching bag! It's not nice!  


I hope that you guys can take the advice I've given you and put it to good use. You're making me crazy with your stalking, and your anger, and your kitty restraining orders. Something needs to give here, ya know?


Sincerely,
The Hand That Feeds You.