A Look Ahead at 2012

Here we are, at the start of another new year. I swear the years are getting shorter, but, well, that's probably that pesky ageing process. In any event, we're here, and we have a whole new year laid out before us on which to imprint a little bit of ourselves.

You're most likely going to read a slew of posts in the next little while talking about resolutions. This won't be one of them.  I don't really make resolutions. I believe that if you want or need to make a change in your life, you should do it when it feels right, and maybe that way you'll find it easier to stick to.  Why wait until some random moment to improve? Live in the moment!


That said, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that this time of year does tend to push me into doing some deep thinking and analysis of where my life is headed. I look  at the past twelve months and try to figure out what, if anything, I've learned, and where I'd like to see myself going in the next year. Then I decide how to make that happen. Are they resolutions? I'm sure some people will say so, but I don't call them that. To me, a resolution is just something you think of because you feel like you have to do something. I set loose goals, things I want to do, things I will do, but they're not the standard things like losing weight, or quitting smoking, or any of those things.


If you read my last post, which I hope you did, you'd see I learned quite a lot about myself. I started this blog, which pretty much triggered a landslide of creative endeavours.  I discovered photography, and I started painting again. Most of all, I felt GOOD about these things. As a kid, I was very creative, and imaginative, but it wasn't really ever nurtured in me, so I never really accepted that I was any good at anything creative. I don't think it was intentional, so this won't turn into a huge 'bash Tara's parents' post. It's just how it was.


In 2011, I was fortunate enough to spend some time with people who really helped me see that I could try my hands at whatever I wanted, and not stress so much about the end result. Sure, I'd love for everything I do to turn out well, but art for me is so much more about the process.  When I create, it feeds something in me, and when that part of me is sated, it just sends so much energy to the rest of me that makes me so good inside. And when you feel good, you tend to spread  that feeling to others. Don't get me wrong, I'm by no means a master of every art form I attempt, but you know what? Who cares? It's okay.


I feel like 2012 is my year. I've got some big big plans.  I want to continue to improve my writing, so to that end, I'm going to be building my own personal website, which I hope to have going by mid to late January. The website will be the new home for this blog.  I'm also starting a new blog, which I've finally named. It will be called Epic WINnipeg, and it will be all about my passion for my hometown.  I really hope you'll like it.


I would also like to continue learning and growing as a photographer. I have no formal training, but I am learning all the time, and it's a huge labour of love for me. Froot Loops and family will have a role in this progression too. They have a big big project coming up, but I'm not going to tell you what that is. You'll have to wait for my website to be up to find out!  Soon, my pretties!


I'm also going to be working on my painting. Of all the things I do, I'm probably least comfortable with my painting skills, which means I need to do it more! Practice practice practice! I'm a big fan of doing things that make you uncomfortable, since it's a sure fire way to find growth. 


Away from the creative side, I want to continue to enjoy life with my boy and friends and family. I've really enjoyed how much more relaxed as a person I've been the last year. Things haven't gone entirely smoothly, but overall I find I'm just in a better place, and I think that benefits others just as much as it benefits me. I'd like to be able to pay it forward too. I've had a lot of people who've been so helpful and supportive, and I'd like to give back in that regard. In the last little while, I was able to do that financially, and I did, but that won't always be the case, so I look forward to finding other ways to make life better for those around me.


Big big things ahead this year for me! What are you looking forward to in 2012? Leave me a note in the comments below!


Cheers!
Tara

Small People, Big Issues

Tonight, the boy and I began "the talk."  You know, the conversation that a lot of parents dread, yet know they will have to have someday?  Yes, THAT talk.  I knew it was coming, and yes, I'm pretty sure that I've been fearing it since he learned to talk.
  So, tonight it happened, and you know what? It wasn't that bad. In fact, it happened so organically that I don't even think I realized it was happening until it was over!  That's always been a fear of mine... how will I ever know how far to take the conversation?  What if I screw up?    Anyone who knows me knows that I'm fairly neurotic, so it should really come as no surprise that I've been worrying for years about having this subject come up.


I can't even remember what we were talking about, to be honest.  Somehow though, the conversation turned to the cats.  The boy seemed very concerned about the cats, and whether they were adults or still kittens.  Now, I am not sure why he was concerned, but he was.  Then he started asking about a cat we used to have, our beloved cat Fuzzby, and he said he thought maybe the cats we have now were still kittens, because they were nowhere near as large as he was.  So, I explained that Fuzzby was just a really big cat.


This answer didn't seem to satisfy him, and he wondered why he was so big.  I told him that sometimes, when cats get neutered, they get fat.  I went on to tell him that you get your boy cats neutered so they don't make any babies.  And I'm pretty sure this is where the conversation went off the rails.  And how.


Now, anyone who knows us knows the boy shares my flair for the dramatic, and in that fashion, he sits straight up and says, "OH.MY.GOD. BOYS MAKE BABIES TOOO?!?!"  I let him digest that for a moment and confirm that yes, it takes a girl AND a boy to make a baby.  And he looks at me, and I'm wondering if I should go farther or leave it there for now, but he just says, "Ok, so a boy gets with a girl and they make a baby together. Ok."  And that was pretty much it.  Conversation started.


I'm quite pleased with how it turned out, and now that it's begun, I think any further discussion will be easier, because we've laid a bit of ground work.  I plan to be honest about it, because I think a lot of times, in an effort to protect our kids, we tend to underestimate how smart they really are and how much they can handle.  I've learned, to that they'll let you know when they've heard enough.  


Ah, the joys of parenthood.  Best.Job.Ever.

Chillin' At The Park

Another sunny day at the park. 

You can always tell when spring comes, because, more often than not, the boy and I can be found at the park after school.  He gets rid of his excess energy by running and jumping and playing, and I amuse myself by sitting on a bench (or on a rock under a tree as is the case today) with a cup of coffee or other such beverage, and either play with my iPod, or take inspiration from the surroundings to create something, whether it be a drawing or a poem, or even a blog post. 

I haven’t always been an outdoorsy person, and I still make no claims to being a nature lover, but I will admit that it’s growing on me.  There’s just something so relaxing about a warm day spent in the sun, watching your child enjoy himself and just being. 

When I was working, by the time I picked the kid up and got home and got him fed, I was so tired that the idea of taking the boy to the park seemed like such an ordeal.  That all changed when I had to leave my job. I had all this time and so we started going to the park. At first, I had to bring stuff to keep myself busy, but after a while I realized how fun it was just to watch him play and enjoy himself.  Who doesn’t enjoy seeing their child happy?  Mom’s happy too, because when the kid burns off all that energy, his mood improves, and he sleeps better.

These days, the boy’s old enough that he plays mostly on his own, unless he wants me to watch something, at which point I drop everything and watch him.  It’s pretty awesome.  Win/win, actually.  Boy gets to play, and mommy gets a break AND quality mommy-boy time. What else could you ask for?

Woohoo! A break!

Morning, all.

Sorry for the lapse in posts, but it's been a rough few days, and I've been rather sleep deprived.  When you're really tired, it's sometimes hard to get your thoughts out, and so anything I posted would likely have made little to no sense. I'm back now though, almost caught up, and ready to rock and or roll.

Let me just say that I love my child with all my heart and soul, but I am very happy that he is back to school today. He's been at home recovering for a week, and, while I love spending time with him, the last few days have been a little rough.

Recovery from his surgery went quite well, but he started with a low grade fever Friday night. This is quite normal after surgery, and I was able to get it down with some Tylenol. Fine. Of course, then he'd start feeling better and drive it right back up! Kids just need to move, I get it.

Saturday night he went to bed just fine, but he got really restless during the night, and didn't get much sleep. It spiralled rapidly downhill from there, and Sunday night, he decided he didn't need to sleep AT ALL, which, as parents know, means you don't sleep either.  

So it's been a few days of child who doesn't sleep, and then gets moody and disrespectful, and at times downright hurtful. Not fun. I know that it's just a temporary thing, and that it's because his routine is all messed up, but still. It doesn't make it easier. We've been together all week, and neither of us feels well, him due to surgery, and me because lack of sleep triggers my Meniere's. We both need a break. Yay school!