Friday, April 1, 2011

In a funk...

Hey all.

So... son has been gone a week, and I have done precious little to enjoy myself while he's been gone. It's official: I'm in a funk.

I'm not going to go out of my way to analyse  the whys of it, I just want it to end. The funk, that is. It's ruining my happy go lucky vibe, and it's really really annoying.  I'm not sleeping right, and I seem to be alternating not eating with over eating. I burst into tears without provocation, and today I'm taking everything, even things that have nothing to do with me, extremely personally. 

To top it off, I feel like I should have done more with my time while the boy's been gone. Mommy time is precious, and when I take care of me, I'm refreshed when he gets home. I just can't seem to get motivated though. I had that really awesome day taking pictures with Froot Loops, but it's all sort of been downhill from there.  I've been lazy.

I think I just need to remember to push myself to get out when I feel like this. Tuesday, my cousin and  I took a walk, and we got slurpees, and went to the Asian supermarket for goodies. That was good, I felt better for the exercise.

I was out all day yesterday, but I had stayed up all night working on the house, so everywhere I went, it was a challenge just staying awake. Then when I got home, all I wanted to do was sleep. Today hasn't been much better, I'm still messed up by the lack of sleep, and I had the worst reflux this morning, and I'm a mess.

This is how I know I'm depressed, I hate complaining, and here I am doing just that. NOT  GOOD!  I have been trying to get myself out of the house all day, and I finally succeeded at 8:30 pm.  I've been sitting in a coffee shop for the last hour and a half, and while it hasn't made me feel any better, at least I'm getting a change of scenery, right?  

Anyway, tomorrow is another day, and once again I'll make an effort. Who knows, maybe it'll be a good day. One can always hope.  

What do you do to get yourself out of a funk? Any pointers for me?



  1. Tara...funks are consuming....They grab hold with the slightest opening and you have to pry them off with determined strength.
    I give the funk one day and embrace it...agree with it, ride with it. WITH THE UNDERSTANDING it only gets THAT day. Then I get me back...sometimes the me I get back is still battered and bruised but it's a positive step away from the funk....and ya just keep taking steps until it's too far behind to catch you least for a while....

    ((HUGS)) are also very helpful...


  2. Thanks, you. :)

    I'm not a stranger to depression really, in my 20's I was diagnosed as bi-polar, but I don't often get the big lows. I'll get down, but then swing upwards rather quickly. I definitely get manic, but the depression doesn't usually keep me down long. Probably not an accurate diagnosis, lol. Anyway, I know logically that it will pass, but I have to force myself to remember it when it's here. Blogging helped though.

  3. You sound like me, I feel funky or funked all the time. Not sure if it is depression (i'm on pills) or I'm lazy, or it's just having MM that takes away so many joys.
    I guess what I am trying to say is that I am with you on everything. The sleep thing is all messed up, sleep late and go to bed late and nap in the day and then feel guilty because I did nothing.
    If it were not for Lilly I don't think I would even bother to shower, but I have a little pride,sometimes and hate to take her out for her walks with my bed head...
    I wish I had a super huge healing or coforting word for you but if you get one from some wise person please share with your lazy, guilty MM friend, Madeline. Sending you hugs...

  4. I would blame it on the few days of no sunshine. It is tough when you don't take advantage of your free time, I know the guilt of that can eat you up! You did write about it, so that had to help a little. I think spending time with friends is one of the best things you can do, and writing always helps me! You can start a new hobby, it might give you a sense of accomplishment, even if it's fleeting! Hope you have better days ahead! Go buy some rubber boots and splash in the puddles like you once did!