Hey all.
So... son has been gone a week, and I have done precious little to enjoy myself while he's been gone. It's official: I'm in a funk.
I'm not going to go out of my way to analyse the whys of it, I just want it to end. The funk, that is. It's ruining my happy go lucky vibe, and it's really really annoying. I'm not sleeping right, and I seem to be alternating not eating with over eating. I burst into tears without provocation, and today I'm taking everything, even things that have nothing to do with me, extremely personally.
To top it off, I feel like I should have done more with my time while the boy's been gone. Mommy time is precious, and when I take care of me, I'm refreshed when he gets home. I just can't seem to get motivated though. I had that really awesome day taking pictures with Froot Loops, but it's all sort of been downhill from there. I've been lazy.
I think I just need to remember to push myself to get out when I feel like this. Tuesday, my cousin and I took a walk, and we got slurpees, and went to the Asian supermarket for goodies. That was good, I felt better for the exercise.
I was out all day yesterday, but I had stayed up all night working on the house, so everywhere I went, it was a challenge just staying awake. Then when I got home, all I wanted to do was sleep. Today hasn't been much better, I'm still messed up by the lack of sleep, and I had the worst reflux this morning, and I'm a mess.
This is how I know I'm depressed, I hate complaining, and here I am doing just that. NOT GOOD! I have been trying to get myself out of the house all day, and I finally succeeded at 8:30 pm. I've been sitting in a coffee shop for the last hour and a half, and while it hasn't made me feel any better, at least I'm getting a change of scenery, right?
Anyway, tomorrow is another day, and once again I'll make an effort. Who knows, maybe it'll be a good day. One can always hope.
What do you do to get yourself out of a funk? Any pointers for me?
Tara
Ahhh....my Tara...funks are consuming....They grab hold with the slightest opening and you have to pry them off with determined strength.
ReplyDeleteI give the funk one day and embrace it...agree with it, ride with it. WITH THE UNDERSTANDING it only gets THAT day. Then I get me back...sometimes the me I get back is still battered and bruised but it's a positive step away from the funk....and ya just keep taking steps until it's too far behind to catch you ...at least for a while....
((HUGS)) are also very helpful...
xoxo
B
Thanks, you. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not a stranger to depression really, in my 20's I was diagnosed as bi-polar, but I don't often get the big lows. I'll get down, but then swing upwards rather quickly. I definitely get manic, but the depression doesn't usually keep me down long. Probably not an accurate diagnosis, lol. Anyway, I know logically that it will pass, but I have to force myself to remember it when it's here. Blogging helped though.
You sound like me, I feel funky or funked all the time. Not sure if it is depression (i'm on pills) or I'm lazy, or it's just having MM that takes away so many joys.
ReplyDeleteI guess what I am trying to say is that I am with you on everything. The sleep thing is all messed up, sleep late and go to bed late and nap in the day and then feel guilty because I did nothing.
If it were not for Lilly I don't think I would even bother to shower, but I have a little pride,sometimes and hate to take her out for her walks with my bed head...
I wish I had a super huge healing or coforting word for you but if you get one from some wise person please share with your lazy, guilty MM friend, Madeline. Sending you hugs...
<3
ReplyDeleteI would blame it on the few days of no sunshine. It is tough when you don't take advantage of your free time, I know the guilt of that can eat you up! You did write about it, so that had to help a little. I think spending time with friends is one of the best things you can do, and writing always helps me! You can start a new hobby, it might give you a sense of accomplishment, even if it's fleeting! Hope you have better days ahead! Go buy some rubber boots and splash in the puddles like you once did!
ReplyDelete